i hate how i keep on smiling even tho i'm hurt.
i hate how i can't say things i want to say.
i hate how i'm scared of certain things when i'm not supposed to be.
i hate how people get me wrong.
i hate how i let people judge me.
i hate how easily hurt i am.
i hate how fragile i am.
i hate how i let people hurt me.
i hate how i write stuffs like this.





i just don't get myself sometimes.

2-0-1-1, Penerus 5, YOI! :-D

finally, penerus 5. setelah pelantikan 3 hari di cilember. which is super fun. super unforgettable.

day 1.
pagi2 gue mual, dan akhirnya nyampe di labsky. nyampe di labsky kita kyk apel gitu kan trs arita pingsan :"""""""""". akhirnya dia nyusul aja...trs abis itu kita ke tronton masing2 & berangkat! gue satu tronton sm kelompok gue & kelompok 3 & bbrp kakak senior! *\=D/* gakerasa kita udh nyampe aja gitu di villanya, trs hari itu kita dilatih pbb gitudee trs ya hari itu gitudeh :-D terus pas sholat!!!!!! itu kalo otw mesjid selalu gini "kiri, kiri, kiri kanan kiri" nyaw kangen gaketahanan.
oya, pas hari itu udh ntah sakit 2x kalo gasalah gue masuk uks #curcol. -_-

day 2.
kita hari ini mau ke curug broh!!! sebenernya gue takut gaketahanan-_- tp ya dijalanin ajah. trs pas lari pagi ane lemes kakinya dan untung aja dipegangin tiara lgsg -_- trs abis itu kita makan dll persiapan trs ke CURUG!!!! ke curugnya naik angkot bareng kelompok 4 & bbrp kakak senior jg! kak fakhri&kak lia unyu bgt-_-v mehehehe. lanjut. sampe disana ya kita jalan ke atas gitu kan sepanjang jalan gue panik2 gajelas trs sering dipegangin....satu kelompok-_- sampe disana itu seruuuu bgt!!!! pas di curug brp gt kita nyebur!!! tp pas dibawah airterjun gue tbtb keliyengan #lagi. -_- bete yah sakit m0l0. trs tp pkknya asik! trs kita balik ke villa gt kaan trs ya pbb lg kyknyaa. trs malemnya itu api unggun, and again, we lemes and nyaris jatoh...-_- jd gaikut api unggun.

day 3.
ternyata gue tidur di uks semalemnya HAW. >< bareng aritasaniasafira.
ya hari terakhir kita :-D bakalan dilantik sesampenya di labsky. setelah packing, kita ngambil kaos. tp hrs argumentasi dulu sm kakak2 senior. tp itu yg bikin kaos kita ada valuenya. sampe di labsky, kita gladi trs prosesi. formasi kita gak fail! NYAW. hehehe bangga abis^^ trs abis itu disematkan gt trs dilantikdeh! :-) gaada lg "capas 5" trs buka formasi AHHA gak fail jg loch <3 hearttts. seneng bgt, trs akhirnya ada salam2 gt sm kakak senior dan ada foto gt, ditunggu yach fotonyow:-D. trs udhdeh, selesai acara. selamat untuk tebe&deiva yg menjadi peserta terbaik! \m/ hehehe.

terimakasih kakak2 pelatih...
kakak2 senior...
PENERUS 5{}. sayang bgt sm penerus 5:( hehehe{} #curcol

2-0-1-1. Penerus 5, YOI.

free.

free.
i want to be free.
i want to fly like a little bird.
i want to jump off cliffs and land on cold waters.
i want to run and scream in an african savannah.
to be free.
how could anyone not want that?
i want to be free of all the burdens.
.........to be free..
for at least a little while.

party-in' party-in' yea! (05/12)

HAI! this weekend was SOO much fun \m/

it all started on saturday!!
awalnya gue kesekolah bentar kan pagi-pagi, terus siangnya ke Namaste Fest!! pas hari itu gue gaikut kelas apa2-_- karena kelas cameron udh gaada, jules udh mulai aja tiba2 terus mark juga udh selesai gitu T.T yang seru itu malemnya!!!! ada celebration night gitu, terus itu super asik pas Miroto nari terus kolaborasi sama Ayu Laksmi kalogasalah! and it was superkewll!!

besoknya gue barudecc bener2 yoga! pagi-pagi ikut Hip-Hop Yoga thingy HAHA it was rlly rlly fun! Jules kece abis HAHAHA, dan gue gabisa hand stand... susah abisT_T gue cuma bisa shoulderstand h3h3 terus pas itu gue dibenerin sama si Jules dan berasa mau kejungkang kebelakang T_T takut aja HAHAHA alaykan? lanjut. abis itu gue pijet HAHAH #upil enakloh terus gue nntn performance abis pijet dan ternyata tiba2 kelasnya Cameron udah mau mulai aja. itu tentang PRIMALS HAHAHA. jd kita disuruh kayak misalnya, niruin lumba-lumba, gorilla gue yang lumba2 ujungujungnya kayak apa taugak?PESUT BROH. YES. HAHAHAHAH itu supersusah V_V tp asik bgt kelasnya!! dan Cameron believes that we are also an animal-_- okkkay, lets move on... terus gue abis kelas Animal gitu langsung EAT LIKE AN ANIMAL BOOYEA. eeeh ternyata makanannya....vegetarian food. yuk mare yg penting keeisi ~~~ terus abis itu ke kelasnya Mark! gue kira bakalan lebih abstrak dari dua kelas sebelumnya, ternyata dia itu gak galak samasekali dan lebih abstrak ngga, lebih narik iya...dia mencoba untuk benerin pose Downward Facing Dog gue tp ttp aja gabisa HAHAHA sakit coy T.T terus and again, shoulderstand, kali ini udh bener haha #proud terus tp abis itu lgsg kakinya kebelakang gt,,,,,,,,,,, krik abish. gue takut dan sama dia dikebelakangin. HAHAHAHA terus gue karena takut patah lah gue mintadinaikin terus dinaikin HAHA gangerti baik abis si mark sabar ngadepin gue. terus abis kelas itu gue MANDI!! #yeaaa \m/ terus makan-_- terus pulang!!!!

i had a greaaaat weekend! hahaha, i'm looking forward to Namaste Fest 2012~ see yaa blogwalkers! #kisbaialaMalik

BACK TO DECEMBER. (1/12)

Yeah. A lot of things happen on December. My birthday, (was) 412, New Years, EXAMS.

Since there's one thing of the above that won't happen this year again, here's a song to reminisce the good old days. If you're reading this, you know exactly who this song is meant for....

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories

'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight
And I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't....

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you
Tonight

Can't believe that 2011 is going to end soon. Time flies so fast. :-) And..............2011 has given a lot of memories. Memories to smile at when i grow up. XX.

Differences. (30/11)

I know. I realize. I realize that i've changed. I am not who i was back then.

...........of course i wouldn't be the same.

The situation is different. I'm not an elementary kid anymore. Social-problems come more often. I don't trust people that easy anymore. It gets harder for me to forgive someone. Life gets hard. And, the worst part about it, that i just realized, is that it is only the beginning.

Two-faced people are a lot easier to find these days. People will not think twice when they want to put others to shame in front of others. I tend to keep things to myself more often, to me, some people aren't trustworthy anymore.

Rests was usually one of the things i get enough every single day. WAS. These days? Getting at least an 8 or 7-hour sleep is more than enough.

People almost never listen to me. To some people, others opinion isn't important. People are selfish these days. And my choice, ha, who cares about it.

I'm trying to be not anti-social. But, everything is taking me exactly to the opposite direction of where i'm heading to.

i am beyond tired.
i am tired of social life.
i am tired of paperworks.
i am tired of people who would never have enough of me.
take me back to the old days......

WICKED THE MUSICAL. (25/11)

GALAU BANGET.
WICKED THE MUSICAL. IS IN SINGAPORE. SINGAPORE. NOT NEW YORK BRO.

WICKED! The Untold Story Of The Witches of Oz. I've always wanted to watch this Musical! >.< But it's in New York, and NY isn't just a few miles from Jakarta.... :" I knew about this from a commercial HAHAH then i googled about it. AAAAA. the tickets are....expensive. But some of the seats cheaper than the Katy Perry concert. :| #dillema. I want to watch both SO BAD.

These are Wicked's Characters!

Character	Description	Original Broadway performer	Current Broadway performer	Original West End performer	Current West End performer
Elphaba	The misunderstood green girl who becomes the Wicked Witch of the West	Idina Menzel	Jackie Burns	Idina Menzel	Rachel Tucker
Glinda	The popular blonde girl who becomes Glinda the Good Witch of the North	Kristin Chenoweth	Chandra Lee Schwartz	Helen Dallimore	Louise Dearman
Fiyero	A handsome prince, fellow student, and love interest	Norbert Leo Butz	Richard H. Blake	Adam Garcia	Mark Evans
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz	The tyrannical ruler of Oz	Joel Grey	Tom McGowan	Nigel Planer	Clive Carter
Madame Morrible	The headmistress at Shiz University	Carole Shelley	Kathy Fitzgerald	Miriam Margolyes	Julie Legrand
Nessarose	Elphaba's spoiled invalid sister	Michelle Federer	Jenny Fellner	Katie Rowley Jones	Zoe Rainey
Boq	A Munchkin with eyes for Glinda	Christopher Fitzgerald	Etai BenShlomo	James Gillan	Ben Stott
Doctor Dillamond	A professor at Shiz University and a talking Goat	William Youmans	Tom Flynn	Martin Ball	Julian Forsyth

I wanna watch this Musical SOOO bad. WICKED IS SO AWESOME >.<

WHAT HAPPENED? (24/11)

............................

minggu ini gimana? biasa aja sebenernya. tp yang super seru itu hari ini! yaitu Jumat 25 November 2011. \m/ ya awalnya, kan ada hari guru gitu terus ada perayaannya gituu di plaza. terus abis itu balik lg persiapan untuk masuk ruangan ujian. abis itu ya masuk ngerjain soal IPA yang supersusah >.< tp semoga nilainya bagus & gak dibawah KKM & ke scan dengan bener lembarnya! aamiin 0:) lanjuut! terus udh selesai kebawah, liat nilai kan. T_T matematikanya, gutbai. inggrisnya alhamdulillah hehehe. hari ini gue janjian sama niken&sania bakalan ke ARTIK! (^-^)\m/ berhubung gue satu sekolah sama sania, akhirnya gue berangkat bareng dia!!! HAHAHAHA. terus nyampe artik ketemu guru2 SD tercintaaah{} haw kangen abiss & ketemu bbrp adek kelas juga {} nyahahaa. gak lama kemudian, niken dateng! HAHAHA udh gila :-) kangen abis.

akhirnya kita kembali ke masa lalu bgtt;-( LOMBA JELLY FTW AHAHAHA. jd, dulu pernah lomba makan jelly HAHAHAHHAHA mbaksay laris manis ;;) tp td cuma kita bertiga kontestannya. dan yang menang SANIA HAHAHA. udah gakuat makan langsung haphap. T_T

terus abis itu bercanda2 sm pak yahya YEY! HAHAHA trs akhirnya pak yahya sholat jum'at dan gue ke lantai 2, yaitu studio. niatnya ke studio (ngadem) tp bolehnya ke ruang musik oke juga. HAHAHA lanjut. terus abis itu disana ngakak2 abis liat SANIA AHAHAHA terus abis seneng2 gajelas......GALAU. galau massal :"""" nyaw

thanks for today, NIKEN SANIA and others too <3 hahaha. wuff you guys {}{}

TODAY WAS SUPPA FUN /m/

...................................................

kangen. (16/11)

kangen apa?

kangen 21 artik.
kangen 8ee.
kangen 4129.
kangen 6b.
kangen guru-guru.
kangen temen-temen sd.
kangen gak mantengin buku sampe larut malem.
kangen gak sibuk terus.
kangen....

gakngerti lagi. semua berubah 180 derajat pas masuk smp. gue kira gak bakalan kangen2 amat sm temen2 sd. ternyata salah. gue kangen banget.

temen sd itu lebih pengertian. temen sd itu bisa dipercaya, udah 6 tahun sm mereka.
kangen angkatan 21. kangen bgt. kangen guru-gurunya. kangen kelas 6b yang acnya suka mati dan pengap banget kelasnya. kangen anak2 6a juga :-( kangen masa-masa solid #21. kangen bgt.

kangen latihan2 jjm. kangen. kalo diinget2, pengen rasanya ngulang2 lg. dulu gue kira kelas 6 udh paling nyapek-in. ternyata, smp lebih. dan gue baru kelas 7. T_T

gue kgn 21. dan yg pasti....."flashback to when you said (4)ever and always." <3

If you could, would you? (6/10)

.....kalo lo bisa ngelakuin sesuatu yang sebenernya gak mungkin banget terjadi, lo bakalan ngelakuin gak?

apa aja ya kirakira?

1. berubah jadi orang lain.

if you could, would you? maybe. kadang lo pengen berubah jd orang lain mungkin karena lo ngerasa dia lebih baik dari lo. tp apakah itu bener?ngga. kadang, orang yang lo pengen menjadikan sebagai diri lo sendiri tuh pengen jadi lo. im sure pasti ada aja orang yang mau untuk nempatin posisi lo sebagai diri lo sendiri. as for me? hmm, so far, i like being myself. :_)

2. memutar kembali waktu.

if you could, would you? yes. kita membuat beberapa kesalahan pada masa lalu, dan pastinya, kita menyesal dan berharap bisa kembali pada masa itu dan mengulangi semuanya lagi. tapi kali ini, you want to get things right.

3. terbang

if you could, would you? absolute yes. kadang, gue suka amazed liat burung-burung. mereka bisa terbang dengan sayap mereka sendiri. gak harus naik pesawat kemana-mana. mereka bebas. dan ya, sometimes i wonder what would it feel like if i could just, fly. will i feel free like those birds if i could?

yang saat ini bisa terpikirkan oleh gue cuma 3 itu. :_)

makasih ya yang udah mampir ke blog gue, seringsering yops. mehehe

terimakasih sekali lagi,

Taska Amani. :*

UHBT (1/10)

judulnya aja udah serem....gakdeng.
UHBT is near kawan.kawan.

....hehe iya, jd saya berharap....bisa meraih nilai2 bagus pas UHBT yang bakalan diadakan 1 minggu lg ;-D

semoga nilai2nya pada diatas kkm semua, dan gak ada remed insyaAllah.
amin amin ya rabbal alamin o:)

sukses yaah temen2 #11, kakak2 #9 & kakak2 #10 ;-D

LIFE......for now (4/9)

Hai visitors
sejujur-jujurnya, gue agak bingung mau ngepost apa.
karena lagi gak ada ide.
jadi gue mau ngepost tentang, ya apa aja yang baru gue lakuin&kemana2 aja.

okay 2 things.

pertama.
lebaran hari kedua, gue berangkat ke Bandung & nginep disana selama 3 hari kalo gaksalah. dan, yaaa i enjoyed it there.

kedua.
gue berniat untuk nulis cerita di blog ini....
tapi, masih dalam proses.
doain secepatnya bisa dipublish ya kawan! ;)


..................

sekolah H-7. tugas hari raya..tinggal beberapa lagi.

PLUS!!! doain ya semoga nilai2 gue bagus 0:) semoga bulan ini &&seterusnya
gak ada remed remed. amin ya rabbal alamin.


sekian postnya, paling nanti ngepost lagi MUEHEHE >=) terimakasih
Taska Amani.

...... (16/8)

STICK TOGETHER TILL THE END.
STICK TOGETHER TILL THE END.
STICK TOGETHER TILL THE END.
STICK TOGETHER TILL THE END.
STICK TOGETHER TILL THE END.
STICK TOGETHER TILL THE END.

Marhaban Ya Ramadhan. 0:) (30/7)

Nah! Berhubung kita besok, (01-08-2011) udah mau puasa, aku mau minta maaf atas segala kesalahan yang pernah aku buat ke kalian nih, baik yang disengaja/gak disengaja. Tolong dimaafin yah :-) Mohon Maaf Lahir dan Bathin...


Xxo,
Taska

Things that i want! (29/7)

ini list tentang apa aja yang gue mau....

1. Make my parents happy

gue pengen bisa ngebanggain orangtua gue. bisa bikin mereka senyum, bisa ngebayar apa yang udah mereka kasih ke gue selama ini. gue pengen liat mereka senyum liat gue bisa lulus kuliah.. gue pengen jadi orang sukses. gue mau jadi dokter/scientist yang sukses demi mereka... AMIN. i love you, mom&dad.



2. be a successful person

gue mau jadi orang sukses! pengen nemuin sesuatu yang baru.....gue mau sukses, dan gue yakin, insya allah, kalo gue mau, gue bisa. AMINNN. o:)

3. get into UCLA, or UC Berkeley

AMINNN YA RABBAL ALAMIN. gue mau banget tinggal di LA/Berkeley. after my visit to CA, gue bener-bener obsessed pengen bisa kuliah disitu. kalo bisa masuk situ, gue sujud syukur bgt sm Allah SWT.. ini bakalan jadi dream come true. to UCLA and UC Berkeley. :3

4. Able to sing like Christina Aguilera....

SUARANYA DIA ITU.....GUE NGEFANS GILAGILAAN SAMA DIA. Suaranya itu tinggi, berat, serak-serak gimana gitu menurut gue, dan gue suka banget lagunya dia yang Beautiful & Reflection. Curcol dikit ya, gue waktu les vokal disuruh nyanyi reflection dan itu susah abis(-_-). so, thumbs up to Ms. Aguilera, saya suka sekali suara anda :D

5. Have a Unicorn
maunya sih pink (-_-) terus bisa terbang. HAHA. gatau kenapa gue pgnnn bgt punya unicorn. mereka itu indah aja. *ea* terus kalo bisa unicorn nya yang punya tato pelangi gt.... asdfghjkl bgt kan. i know. tp gue bener-bener berharap aja tiba-tiba ada keajaiban kalo binatang yang satu ini itu gak sebatas binatang fiktif...AMIN



6. go to Paris, France. :]

pengennn bgt ke paris. sebenernya liburan kemaren maunya ke paris ): ...tp berhubung adek gue yang masih kecil, sayang juga kalo misalnya dia gangerti apa-apa kalo misalnya ke museum/historical site yang di paris gitu. semoga gue bisa juga ke paris..AMIN




7. Find someone to share my life with till the end of time<3

.........
gue sih maunya nanti nemu orang yang sayang sama gue, perhatian, peduli sama gue, nerima gue apa adanya, GAK NGEBANDINGIN GUE SAMA CEWEK LAIN, mau ngehabisin hidupnya hanya sama gue....beruban sama gue, aaah gitu deh pokoknya :b (-_-)



sebenernya yang gue mau itu banyak, tp gue gak akan numpahin semuanya di blog :D ini cuma ada beberapa aja gue post....
gue pengen punya anak, pengen bisa main gitar, pengen bisa masak dan yang lain2.......:D


naah yaudah deh segini dulu postnya. see you next time!!

xxo,
Taska :)

World's Greatest (26/7)

World's Greatest, R. Kelly. Lagu favorit gue, gue pertama kali denger lagu ini pas wisuda adek gue. Dan, akhirnya gue download dan search liriknya, liriknya itu sangat amat BERMAKNA. Bikin gue percaya kalo gue bisa ngelakuin, dan menggapai apa yang gue mau.... Well, that song makes me feel great. Ini dia liriknya:

I am a mountain
I am a tall tree
Ohhh, I am a swift wind
Sweepin' the country
I am a river
Down in the valley
Ohhh, I am a vision
And I can see clearly
If anybody asks u who I am
Just stand up tall look 'em in the Face and say

I'm that star up in the sky
I'm that mountain peak up high
I made it
I'm the worlds greatest
And I'm that little bit of hope
When my backs against the ropes
I can feel it mmm
I'm the worlds greatest

I am a giant
I am an eagle
I am a lion
Down in the jungle
I am a marchin' band
I am the people
I am a helpin' hand
And I am a hero
If anybody asks u who I am
Just stand up tall look 'em in the Face and say

I'm that star up in the sky
I'm that mountain peak up high
I made it
I'm the worlds greatest
And I'm that little bit of hope
When my backs against the ropes
I can feel it
I'm the worlds greatest


HEHE well, kaay, sampai jumpa di post selanjutnya! :*

Xoxo,
Taska A.Z <3